dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
