He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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