I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
