it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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