I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
