I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
