You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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