i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
