Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
