Already got asked if we're dating
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize