What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
