Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
