Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
