I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
