so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
