How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
