She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
