i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
