No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
