Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
