Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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