thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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