Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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