its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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