just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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