So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
