I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
