We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
