the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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