She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize