After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm like, not good at living.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
