I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
