she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
