she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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