were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
