btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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