I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
