If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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