Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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