i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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