I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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