they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You may now shotgun with the bride
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
