I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize