my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
