those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
