also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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