"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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