yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize