I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
