Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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