imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
