Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
