when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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