i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
you made out with another girl for some wings
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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