New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
