So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
