a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
