the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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