All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
