between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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