Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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