Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
