butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
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