What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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