I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
