five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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