and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
