margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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