so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Idk if I want to put a bra on
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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