I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
