Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
