I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
