Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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