It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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