he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Text me some of your sweat
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
